I think I am going to start a petition about gun control. There are 78 million baby boomers, 45 million of whom are women; you might say we live in volatile times, indeed! There should be a law against women 45-65 carrying weapons. In my book “Meet Me Under The Eiffel Tower” I tackle the topic of the Big Monster: Menopause. It stalks every woman alive and can detonate like a atomic bomb. Surprise! Another challenge presents itself in the aging process. And one needn’t go too far down the aging road to experience it. I was only 45 years old. No fun at all….for anyone. It makes for, grumpy women. Ask my ex; hell, ask me! Just when we are our most confident, sexy, savvy selves, just when we are at our prime both physically and mentally: whammooo! The Big MM hits. We are not the only trajectory; inadvertently, it hits our spouses and our relationships. As we experience constant hormonal changes we become someone we don’t know. Who is that demon yelling obscenities at the postman? Did that grocery store clerk look at me funny? I had every classic sign there was. My then husband reassured me it was not menopause; I was too young, he waved dismissively at me like once again, I was exaggerating. I went to my own doctor who confirmed that I was smack dab in the middle of it. Early forties are not that unusually young to begin.
Menopause can change a whole lot in a relationship. It tests, constantly tests a couple to see how much the husband can endure. It is almost as if we women are asking our men to prove their love all over again even though we are clearly into our long-term marriages and relationships. If you love me you must attend to my ever-pressing needs. Is it so much to ask to put the air conditioner on in 40 degree weather? Open the window. Close the window. Open the damn window again.…Gads! What’s the problem? I am sure someone must have come up somewhere that there is a connection between mid-life menopausal women and divorce.
Beyond the physiological aspects of menopause lies a whole emotional aspect. We are not the life-carrying force (or potential force) that we once were. Our skin changes, we loose hair, everything sags (my boobs are hanging over my knees now) and our libido is effected. More importantly, we have to acknowledge in no uncertain terms if we are happy with our lives. It is, as I expressed in “Meet Me Under The Eiffel Tower”, ” (menopause) is an alert to the aging process, to life passing, to the chances left for happiness. It is a summons to stop and reflect where life is at and an opportunity to reassess where we want our life to head. It is a formal petition to do what needs to be done to ensure happiness the second half of our life….yep, it is mandatory to reassess our time here on terra firma.”
So, where to begin? We will discuss a few options in my next blog. Hang on!